///ok.go///the blog of jordan and ellen

As I take a break from cleaning my at home office, I sit in an aptly placed comfy chair to examine my work. Place this here. Move that there. Cover that up. I self contemplate and somewhere between reminiscent objects and a mild case of obsessive compulsive disorder, I begin to notice the systematic approach that I sometimes take to life. It’s this combined effort between my mind and my heart to organize the things that I see through my eyes in a refreshing glow. It’s organization at it’s greatest attempt, and a pressure I place on myself to never settle for the repetitious. Somehow, though, this seems evident in other areas of my life as well.

I have made a pile of items that I intend to put in the attic. Things that go in the attic are things that I don’t use so much like Christmas decorations, empty computer boxes, and now wedding gifts. I’ve found that I also sort memories this way. Memories like my high school theatre career, my elementary exercise of building skate parks for my brother (in the back yard) and that time I forgot the words to “Jesus Loves Me” while leading worship at a traditional church in southern Louisiana. These aren’t things that I reference much. They aren’t necessary for my day to day, but they still make me happy. They still motivate me towards humility and pursuit of what I’m made for. I’m beginning to feel like that pursuit continues long past my next significant life change, and hopefully the one after that.

In one corner of my at home office you’ll find a sea shell. My dad left it in my car after he borrowed it to drive to a beach portrait when we were in Florida last. Looking at it simultaneously brings out images of my hometown and strangely a sense of responsibility for those closest to me. That shell was used to lure the smiles of young children and those young one’s parents paid for that facial expression. My parents used that shell to put me through college. They don’t know I have it. I probably won’t give it back.

It’s things like sea shells that I won’t place in the attic. Responsibility is something that I must never forget, nor do I want to forget how it’s effect on people in my life has carried me a long way in a short time. I imagine the sacrifice that I’ll have the opportunity to make for my kids one day, or even my wife right now… this must be the greatest time to understand the depth of importance found in even my easy decisions. The more checks that I mark off in my twenties, the more I realize that life is enormous. What once were bills and senior practicums are now life insurance and IRAs and I’m okay with that. It’s just that I hope I’ve filed everything correctly. I hope that the illustrations that God has positioned me in will be lived out in my imagination again when I need to remember those life lessons.

What strikes me most is when I begin to recognize the way God has made everything available to me. His word is enough, but along with that people and circumstance. He sets us up for success. Now if I could just figure out what He’s trying to teach me through my golf game.